3 Unexpected Stress Busters for a Much-Relaxed Life

I am not here to add to the redundant bulk of content concerning stress management that’s available everywhere. While most of the information out there focuses on managing stress my intention with this blog post is different—I want to share how to adopt a lifestyle that keeps stress at bay. Hence, the title “3 Unexpected Stress Busters for a Much-Relaxed Life.” I can’t promise these tips will make your life stress-free; achieving a perfect life is impossible in this imperfect world. We’re not completely free from stress until we go to our graves.

Nevertheless, by the time you finish reading this post, you’ll learn how to make your life less stressful because these three principles are the ones I live by, and I know how powerful they are. Keep in mind that stress exists in different forms and at varying levels. (If you’re under stress to the point of depression or contemplating suicide, this post isn’t for you. Please seek professional help.) The goal is not to manage stress but to embrace a lifestyle that inherently reduces it. So keep on reading to learn about my 3 unexpected stress busters for a much-relaxed life.

Mastering Emotional Maturity

Maureen Killoran, author of “Jumpstart Creativity Hypnosis,” wisely said, “Stress is not what happens to us. It is our response to what happens, and response is something we can choose.” Unfortunately, many of us are emotionally immature and don’t know the correct response to everyday challenges. Our education systems, including the Sri Lankan education system, are designed to help us mature physically and intellectually, but not emotionally. Often, the cause of stress is how we choose to respond to offence and betrayal in life. These experiences wound our ego. How many times have you been offended over nothing? This is why emotional maturity is essential. Emotional maturity means learning how to handle our emotions and reactions in a way that reduces stress, rather than amplifies it.

Stress is not what happens to us. It is our response to what happens and response is something we can choose.

Maureen Killoran

For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, an emotionally immature response would be to get angry and frustrated. An emotionally mature response would be to acknowledge the moment of irritation and then let it go, understanding that holding onto anger only harms yourself. This concept extends to bigger life events as well. If you feel betrayed by a friend, you can choose to either hold onto that hurt and let it fester, or you can choose to process the emotion, understand it, and ultimately forgive, not for their sake, but for your own peace of mind. Achieving emotional maturity isn’t an overnight process. It’s a state of mind that you must master, starting with choosing to rise above your ego by forgiving those who offend and betray you.

Finding Your Play Personality

Mark Black, author, international keynote speaker, and coach, says, “Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.” I couldn’t agree more. Our society is driven by the “Productivity Syndrome”—every day is a rat race. Every night, we sleep beside our to-do list, dreaming of conquering each task, only to wake up ready to turn those dreams into reality—then we do it all over again. We’re like hamsters on a wheel, endlessly spinning—my answer? Discovering my play personality to break free. “Play Personality” is a broad topic, but here it means your method for relaxing. For instance, my play personality is watching cartoons that make me laugh. What’s yours? You can have more than one play personality, but ensure it doesn’t make you feel worse.

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.

Mark Black

For instance, if you find yourself enjoying watching sports like cricket or rugby but feel frustrated or disappointed when your team loses, that doesn’t necessarily align with your “play personality”. Your play personality should be centered around activities that genuinely relax and uplift you, rather than adding to feelings of disappointment or agitation. Discovering your play personality involves identifying activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and integrating them regularly into your life. This process may include exploring various hobbies or pursuits until you uncover those that authentically help you unwind. It’s crucial to recognize that your play personality should be something that leaves you feeling rejuvenated and content, not contributing to your stress levels.

The Attitude of Gratitude

Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger said, “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” This means we spend so much time worrying about how bad things might be that we torture ourselves more than the actual event ever could—if it happens at all. St. Paul said, “Give thanks in all circumstances.” I’m not talking about replacing negative thinking with positive thinking; I’m talking about cultivating an attitude of gratitude. In times of stress, focusing on what you’re grateful for provides a sense of calm and perspective, helping to alleviate anxiety. (Both Seneca and St. Paul hint that anxiety is a major source of stress, and there’s speculation that St. Paul and Seneca were acquainted.) Even professional crisis counsellors often tell their patients to write down what they’re grateful for.

Give thanks in all circumstances.

St. Paul

Surviving in a post-COVID-19 Sri Lanka is a nightmare for many, but we must choose to count our blessings. Such an attitude of gratitude eliminates anxiety, motivates us, and boosts productivity. By cultivating this attitude of gratitude and exercising it, you shift your focus from what you lack to what you have, which can have a profound effect on your overall mood and stress levels. This doesn’t mean ignoring your problems or pretending everything is perfect, but rather acknowledging the good things in your life and appreciating them. Gratitude can be as simple as appreciating a beautiful sunset, being thankful for your health, or recognizing the support of loved ones. It’s a mindset that can transform the way you see the world and help you cope with challenges more effectively.

Wrap Up

At a maximum life expectancy of 80 years, human life is indeed short and shouldn’t be spent living in regret, suffering from a wounded ego, productivity syndrome, anxiety, and insecurity that leads to stress. Bob Parsons, the Founder and CEO of GoDaddy Inc., aptly said, “We’re not here for a long time. We’re here for a good time.” I wholeheartedly agree. Our purpose is to enjoy life, not merely endure it. Of course, there are times when we must endure challenges and hardships, but these should be seen as seasons, not the entirety of our existence. Enduring life all the time breeds a narrow focus on ourselves, often blinding us to the joy and opportunities around us. In contrast, when we truly enjoy life, we naturally create opportunities for others to share in that enjoyment.

This shift in perspective invites us to transcend the confines of self-centred endurance and embrace a life enriched by collective happiness and fulfilment. While endurance or perseverance is undeniably essential, dictated by the diverse seasons of life, it is through the act of savouring life that we unearth genuine purpose and forge meaningful connections with others. Embracing joy and nurturing a positive outlook not only enriches our personal well-being but also ignites a ripple effect, inspiring those around us to actively seek and cherish the blessings within their own lives. By prioritizing happiness and cultivating a spirit of gratitude, we liberate ourselves from the ceaseless grip of stress, paving the way for a profoundly meaningful and joy-infused existence.

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